Journal Ps 12-13 (all references are from the ESV; changes in punctuation and notes are mine)
Scripture: (David speaking) “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
(continuing a lament) How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
(a challenge) Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, ‘I have prevailed over him,’ lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
(a conclusion) But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart SHALL rejoice in your salvation. I WILL sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.” (complete Ps 13)
Observation: Again, I learn about conduct and attitude from one whom God called “a man after my own heart.” (Ps 89 and Acts 13:22)
Interestingly enough David isn’t all victory, triumph, and success. He has “bad” and depressionary days—just like me.
But he knows to “set his jaw”, narrow his eyes in concentration, and speak to his faltering heart about where to go…
Application: At times the scriptures get read in a “rat-ta-tat” way, when there should be pauses, change in cadence, emphasis in emotion—it should be orchestrated like reading Shakespeare or “The Cat in the Hat.”
If the individual Psalms could be theatrically portrayed like a “one man show”, perhaps I would be able to extract more of what it means to be a functioning and authentic disciple?
Slowing down the reading and mulling the meaning of each section, imagining how David must have said it to himself; how he spoke the words and the sentences to the heavens; how David unwittingly went from a question to a lament to a challenge to the Holy Spirit, and finally grabbed himself by the scruff of the next and said, “Nevertheless…”
Isn’t this how I am supposed to be? Why then do I want to jump to the punch line and suppress my emotions and the lamentations of my heart BEFORE I can take advantage of what the Holy Spirit is doing in me?
David indicates in this Psalm that he is all by himself (“How long must I take counsel in my soul…”). That is probably the lot a ton of Christians find themselves in. Why? Why should that be true?
- Is it because what passes for fellowship is shallow?
- Is it because deep, abiding friendships are not sought, nor found? (take for instance Jonathan and David; how about the brotherhood described in Psalm 133)
- Is it because I don’t look for “evidences of Grace” in others so I may encourage/exhort them that “they may not fall into the deceitfulness of sin?” (Heb 3:12-13)
- Is it because our Christian culture doesn’t “put up” with sad and downcast faces for only so long?
Do I know how to care for our own in the glaring shadow of the Cross?
Right now, I am in what passes for my “prayer closet” and channeling David’s emotion. I probably do this every day because outside of my wife and one other I feel like I have no one to walk this through with. (Note: This is not recent, what I wrestle with is decades long and I have concluded it is similar to Paul’s thorn in the flesh description (2 Cor 12:7)).
But others may be walking through stuff in the same manner, doing it alone, awaiting a godly hand and shoulder to cry upon. That same “shoulder” may be waiting for an invitation… This “wait” may be unconsciously attempting to establish authority; maybe not. The Promise Keepers I have encountered (holding one another accountable) were big in establishing hierarchical authority—counter to the direction of the Scriptures.
Prayer: Father, help me to be faithful in a continual manner; walking the narrow road of righteousness. I don’t want to be a fatalist, thinking that “all I have is You and myself. This isn’t true and will never be true.
I want more and accurate discernment; that prophetic grace-based discernment, so that I may serve the local church effectively.
Help me not to be a coward but to listen intently and speak boldly.
Even the “found” can be “lost” at times.
AMEN.
Ricky Two Shoes