Category: Good Life Journal

PS: On 1/23/20 I wrote on Acts 3, boldly (and perhaps presumptuously) saying “bring it on” about obeying the Holy Spirit concerning praying for folks publicly, laying on of hands, expecting miracles, etc.

 

I am confessing that it is harder than I made it seem—and I knew then it was hard.  I was in the airport and I observed a man crippled, his foot twisted at a 90-degree angle.  A stranger, and I was surrounded by strangers.  No one even close to knowing who I was.

 

I chickened out.  It has haunted me for the last week.  What I wrote on 1/23/20 of Acts 3 echoes hollowly between my ears.

 

Here is where the Gospel steps in: God knew that I had the best intention when I wrote on Acts 3 and simultaneously knew I would succumb to my fears in the airport.

 

Did I feel bad and continue to feel bad?  Yes.

 

Does God feel bad about me?  No, emphatically no.  He knows my frame, remember?  At my core I am more inclined to sin and act selfishly (in my own self-interest where fear is a part of) than righteously or “walking worthy of the gospel.”

 

What this does show me:

1. is that as I confess my sin, He is faithful to forgive my sin.
2. He does not abandon me as an instrument unworthy of his Grace but is committed to make me in the image of His Son.
3. As I am transparent about my failure and confess it, this may contribute to His Glory by letting the reader join me in hitching up our britches for the next time.

 

I am, yours in Christ,

 

Rick Sutton

 

Scripture

Acts 11:17-18 “If then God gave the same gift to them as he gave to us when we believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I that I could stand in God’s way?”When they heard these things they fell silent. And they glorified God, saying, “Then to the Gentiles also God has granted repentance that leads to life.”

 

Observation

Peter is giving an account to the church in Jerusalem about sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ with Cornelius, his family and friends while the Spirit came upon them. No matter what nation or tribe, when we believe in the Lord Jesus, God gives us the power of the Holy Spirit. The gift of the Holy Spirit is not something to be determined by one group to withhold from another. The apostles gave the glory to God, realizing that all who believe in Jesus and repent of their sin will be given eternal life.

 

Application

I must remember that I am just a vessel to be used by God to share the love of God and the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is the power of the Holy Spirit that will lead and convict someone to believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and savior. This should give me courage and boldness to share with others. The glory belongs to God every time that a soul is saved and taken from an eternity separated from God to a life with Him forever. The gospel is for everyone and no one is ever too far gone. Jesus tells us in the first words of his earthly ministry to, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

 

Prayer

Father, Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit. Let the power of the Spirit guide and empower me to be an ambassador for you. May everything I do in you name to make you known bring honor and glory to you.

 

 

Scripture: “The next day, as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up  on the housetop about the sixth hour to pray.  And he became hungry and wanted something to eat, but while they were preparing it, (Peter) fell into a trance and saw the heavens opened and something like a great sheet descending, being let down by its four corners upon the earth.

 

In it were all kinds of animals and reptiles and birds of the air.  And there came a voice to him: “Rise, Peter; kill and eat.”

 

But Peter said, “By no means, Lord; for I have never eaten anything that is common or unclean.”

 

And the voice came to him a second time, “What God has made clean, do not call common.”

 

This happen three times, and the thing was taken up at once to heaven.

 

Now while Peter was inwardly perplexed as to what the vision that he had seen might mean…” Acts 10:9-17a)

 

Observation: Changing habits and perspectives; how to respond when traditions, customs, and the attitude of “That’s how I have always done it and it works; why should I change” meets the Word of God.  This is a crux point for every person challenged by Jesus.

 

Analysis: I see Peter stealing away for his noon prayers to the roof.  It is lunch time.  He is praying and his stomach starts to growl.  “Folks?  What’s for lunch?  Let’s get something on the grill, what do you say?”

 

Perhaps Pete’s blood sugar gets low.  He gets that “thousand-yard stare” going on and sees a vision.

 

Me?  I get that thousand-yard stare and my wife says to me, “Where did you just go, hon?”

 

Peter is challenged by a vision about his preconceived, traditional, positions on (of all things) eating.  The Lord says after showing birds, reptiles, and all sorts of animals, “Take and eat, I have declared it clean.  What I say is clean, is clean.  Stop arguing.”

 

This discussion happened three times in a row.  I would think that Peter would have at least capitulated after the second.  But THREE times the record says he was still perplexed, puzzled, mystified, confused.

 

Here is the punch line: For Jews, Gentiles were unclean.  God calls them clean.  Don’t call them unclean anymore.  (Also, there is the stretch implication is bacon is good…maybe that is stretching the scriptures a bit I concede, don’t get into an uproar.)

 

The point that sticks out for me is, it took three times for God to speak, Peter argued, and at the end he still didn’t get it.  Finally, Peter did, but really?  Three times?

Hearing from the Lord is like that.  My brain isn’t the instant sponge for the Word of God I imagine it to be.  Sometimes I take the position of asking, and pondering, and trying to get it straight—because it seems so out of synch—when really, it isn’t the Word of God that is out of synch, it is my sinful mind.

 

God is patient; and that’s a good thing.  He knows my frame.  Nothing I come up with surprises Him.  It didn’t with Peter, and it won’t with me.

 

Prayer:  Father, this Acts 10 reference is a good reminder of what “renewing my mind” can look like.  There are three things I want to make sure I take away from this: 1) Don’t be afraid to go “huh”; 2) Make sure I affirm all the time I want to “renew my mind”, and; 3) Please make it so in me, Lord God.  Please make it so.  AMEN.

 

Scripture: “Now there was a disciple at Damascus named Ananias.  The Lord said to him in a vision, “Ananias.”  And he (replied), “Here I am, Lord.”  And the Lord said to him, “Rise and go to the street called Straight, and at the house of Judas look for a man of Tarsus named Saul, for behold, he is praying, and he has seen in a vision a man named Ananias come in and lay his hands on him so that he might regain his sight.”

 

But Ananias answered, “Lord I have heard from many about this man, how much evil he has done to your saints at Jerusalem.  And here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who call on your Name.”

 

But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel.”  Acts 9:10-16

 

Observation: Isn’t this sort of like Jonah?  “Go to Nineveh.”  “But Lord, I don’t want to go to Nineveh, isn’t Nineveh evil?” “Yeah, but I have a plan…”

 

Analysis:  It’s a good thing that I was not Ananias.

 

I would like to think that I would have responded to the vision “Yes, Lord?” thinking, “Look at this.  Just got done studying 1 Samuel and, being primed and ready for the whisper of the Spirit I sat up and “Yes, Lord?”  I will have to have the guys lay hands on me to heal my shoulder, now out of socket, from patting myself on the back.

 

Lord Jesus: “I want you to lay hands on someone, Ananias.”

Ananias: (Oh boy!!) “Sure thing, Lord! Where and who?”

Lord Jesus: “There’s this blind guy on Straight Street expecting you.”

Ananias: “What’s his name?  (like there are a bunch of blind guys on Straight Street)

Lord Jesus: “Saul of Tarsus.”

Ananias: (Cringing) “That wouldn’t be the same Saul of Tarsus that has been beating up the Brothers, would it?”

Lord Jesus: “The same.  Circumstances have changed, I have a plan and purpose for him…”

 

I can tell Ananias struggled a bit: “Saul deserves to be blind, right?  Killed, tortured, imprisoned a bunch of folks, folks I knew.  Why show mercy to this murderer?”

 

Jesus: “He is my chosen instrument…Go to him, Ananias.”

 

If I go a little further in this section, I see that Jesus doesn’t exactly absolve Saul (soon to be Paul) from harm and heartache.  However, the point is Ananias’ response: Swallow ungodly judgement and obey His Lord.

 

I am called to swallow judgment (condemnation) and show mercy.  Evaluate?  Yes.  Discern?  Yes.  Make decisions based on gathered knowledge?  Yes.  Execute condemnation?  No.

 

Prayer:  Lord, it is difficult not to pass judgement on so-called sinners.  I know why: It is because I have actively forgotten I am a sinner.  Somehow, I succumb to the thinking that because I am a “Christian” I have moved the goalposts of “I don’t deserve Your saving Grace” to “I cannot give mercy and grace to (this class) of sinner.”

 

Ananias hitched up his britches and obeyed Jesus, no matter what he thought.  I hope, given the same or similar circumstances, I remember this lesson and do the same.  AMEN

 

Scripture: “Now when Simon saw that the Spirit was given through the laying on of the apostles’ hands, he offered them money, saying, “Give me this power also, so that anyone on whom I lay my hands may receive the Holy Spirit.”

 

But Peter said to him, “May your silver perish with you because you though you could obtain the gift of God with money!  You have neither part nor lot in this matter for your heart is not right before God.  Repent, therefore, of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that, if possible, the intent of your heart may be forgiven you.  For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and the bond of iniquity.”

 

And Simon answered, “Pray for me to the Lord, that nothing of what you have said may come upon me.” Acts 8:18-24

 

Observation:  Here is a description of a short cut desired to fantasticate ministry. “I want to serve the Lord in a big way; nothing less than huge ministry will do.”  Yeah, that’s the ticket…

 

Analysis: Do I think Simon can be assigned “good intent?”  After all, he just wants to “serve the Lord”, right?

 

Maybe not.  Ok, not maybe; really, he doesn’t.  But why?

 

One of the things that I have been addressing the man in the mirror is this issue of asking others to do the hard work of prayer for me.  It kind of looks like Simon asks to take a shortcut to becoming “something.”  It is succumbing to a transaction mentality in the church community.

 

“Oooo, that’s cool.  I want to be able to lay hands on folks.  Can you give me that power?  I got a pocket full of folding money to exchange.”  Another far-off example: “Oooo, that is a shiny badge.  Can I buy one?”  The examples are obvious, right?

 

But Simon isn’t getting it.  He is like a mule; Peter is banging on his noggin with a 2×4 and Simon is thinking “but you didn’t say, no…”

 

Simon: “Can I buy the Power?”  Peter: “Are you nuts?”

Simon: “No, I am not nuts, can I buy the Power?”  Peter: “Your heart isn’t right before God.”

Simon: “You can’t tell that, can I buy the Power?”  Peter: “Repent of this wickedness that God may forgive this bitterness and release you from this bond of iniquity.”

Simon: “Then, that’s not a no, right?  Tell you what, pray for me, ok?  I’ll come back later…”

 

Simon doesn’t want to go through the surrender and hard work of being discipled, he wants others to give him a shortcut: first, buying ministry.  Second, “you pray, I am too busy.”

 

There is a chasm of difference between: “Pray with me” and “pray for me.”  Which one will Jesus hear clearly?  Like Simon, I can get messed up with enthusiasm for “ministry” that is based upon making a name for myself.  I struggle with ambition, wanting it to be holy ambition and wondering if I am actually being a “Simon.”

Prayer: Father, this isn’t the first time you have heard me pray about this.  Make the fear of God be the main influence, committed to work in faithful secret, and convinced that you will provide as the church requires.  In me, ambition is a form of discontent.  Help me to channel godly ambition and serve the person you have provided me to shepherd for the rest of my life.  AMEN

 

Scripture: vs 8-10, 15

[8] And Stephen, full of grace and power, was doing great wonders and signs among the people. [9] Then some of those who belonged to the synagogue..  rose up and disputed with Stephen. [10] But they could not withstand the wisdom and the Spirit with which he was speaking.
[15] And gazing at him, all who sat in the council saw that his face was like the face of an angel.

Observation:

Stephen was chosen as a deacon because he walked in faith and exhibited grace and power through the Holy Spirit.  He was filled with the Spirit and the Spirit used him to work wonders among the people.

As they could not stand the truth of which Stephen spoke, those who rose up against him had no argument more powerful than what came from the wisdom of the Spirit.  This was not wisdom Stephen had on his own, it came from the Spirit living in him.

These people secretly instigated agains him with lies and points of view diametrically opposed to living a life with Jesus and being filled with the Spirit.  Yes, Stephen ends up dying for his faith but the people persecuting him were starting to see that there really was something different about him.  Stephen was at peace with God and had no fears even though he was brought before the high council with lies they would never let him defend against.  Still he was at peace.  Why?  First and foremost it was because he was was filled with the Holy Spirit and secondly he knew were he would spend eternity.

Application:

Stephen is the type of man every church needs as deacons.  One who is serving with a selfless heart and who if filled with the Spirit, allowing the Spirit to work through him.

We all have access to the power and wisdom of the Spirit living within us.  As we submit to the Lord, walk in obedience to Him, and truly get filled with the Spirit, we can put ourselves in a spirit where  the Holy Spirit works through us.  This is where Stephen found his peace in persecution and we can do the same.

Prayer:

Lord I love you.  Thank you for the grace You provide me every single day, and for redirecting me with Your truth as needed when I stray.  Lord give me wisdom through Your Spirit.  If I am ever persecuted for my faith help me to be strong  and find the same peace Stephen showed when he was persecuted.  In Your Holy name I pray, amen.

Scripture: (The following is in the middle of the Ananias and Sapphira episode)

 

“Why have you contrived this deed in your heart?  You have not lied to man but to God.”  (Acts 5:4b)

 

Observation: Between the beginning of Acts 5 and the mid-point of Acts 5, the thinking can be confusing and cause a head to tilt to the side and say “I don’t get that?  What is Jesus trying to say to me here?”

 

Analysis: I wonder if this section of Scripture isn’t so much about the power of signs and wonders as it is about hearts and attitudes.

 

Acts is hard to break down anyway because it is the narrative about the life of the local church.  Lots of stuff happening and Luke is doing his best (guided by the Holy Spirit) to accurately describe things (refer to Acts 1:1-3) just like he did in the Gospel of Luke (Luke 1:1-4)

 

Here I see Ananias and Sapphira being struck dead because they hid intent from their fellow congregants.  The implication may be that they wanted the acclaim that they sacrificed much in the giving of the proceeds of their land sale but were stashing some funds away for themselves.  Peter didn’t have an issue except for them wanting false applause?  Maybe?  Didn’t work out so well.

 

I think that Peter nails it with this: “You have not lied to man, but to God.”

 

Sin isn’t just a “something” that occurs as a performance against other people.  For a Believer in Christ all sin committed is first and foremost an affront to God, a rebellious act to His rule and reign, something as a Believer I have aligned/committed myself to not do.

 

I am reminded afresh that when I sin (get angry, perturbed, nose out of joint about my wife or children) I am really complaining that God didn’t gift me appropriately.

 

When I talk in the car about other people’s driving, I am really complaining that God isn’t taking care of me properly and my feelings are “triggered.”

 

When I think that I have been slighted in recognition, God isn’t sticking up for me in the way I think He should.

 

The picture is clear: All sin is first and foremost sin against God.  I sinned against Him first.  My confession, therefore, is first and foremost to the Most High God; same with my repentance—secondarily to the one that my sin was committed to.

 

The Ananias and Sapphira episode would seem extreme if it happened today (Really?  That’s an understatement).  I don’t know how I feel or think about a possibility like that.  How many times have I held something back in deference to not looking bad before people?  More than I would like to think about, I am sure.  Still, this fact remains: When I sin, I offend God first.  “Against You and You alone have I sinned” says David (Ps 51).

 

Let any other rationale of sin come in second place to this.

 

Prayer:  Lord Jesus, thank you for sharpening my mind in this.  If I don’t realize the enormity of my transgression(s) before You, I belittle the Cross.  Sin, in whatever capacity it occurs in me, is record of gross treason before You.

 

Your Grace is so strong.  My rebellion…well, it is so weak compared to Your Grace but it cannot be overlooked or diminished by my boneheaded mind.  I always need and beg for Your Mercy.  AMEN.

 

Scripture-

Acts 4:29-32 – And now Lord, “Look upon their threats and grant your servants to continue to speak your word with all boldness, while you stretch out your hand to heal, and signs and wonders are performed through the name of your holy servant Jesus.”  And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness.

Observation-

Peter has just given their defense before the council speaking boldly in the Spirit claiming the name of Jesus as the only way to salvation.  Then the believers prayed together, in the name of Jesus, for boldness in the face of adversity.  They prayed for the Spirit to work in and through them to heal, performs signs and continue the ministry.  Everyone was filled with the Spirit and they preached the word of God with strength.

Application –

I can’t defend the gospel of Jesus Christ on my own.  There is nothing else I have to offer except the truth in the death, burial, resurrection and grace in Jesus.  I must rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to provide me with the words to speak not meekly or in fear but with the conviction of truth in the saving grace of the gospel.  We must pray for the Spirit to give us strength, encouragement in the face of threats and increasing persecution.

Prayer –

Father,

Thank you the power of the Holy Spirit.  The same power that rose Jesus is alive in me.  Let me turn to you in prayer, have the Spirit guide my words to boldly proclaim your gospel and lovingly be an ambassador for the Kingdom.

Scripture: “Now Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer (the ninth hour).  And a man lame from birth was being carried, whom “they” laid daily at the (Beautiful Gate) …Seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, the (lame man) asked to receive alms.

 

And Peter directed his gaze at (the lame man), as did John, and said “Look at us!”

 

And all the people saw him walking and praising God and recognized him as the one who sat at the Beautiful Gate of the temple, asking for alms.  And they were filled with wonder and amazement at what happened to him.  While he clung to Peter and John, all the people, (were) utterly astounded…”  (excerpts from Acts 3:1-11 with a small liberty taken on verse 11a)

 

Observation:  I wondered how prepared Peter and John were that afternoon?  Prepared enough, it appears that more astonishment, wonder, amazement, and downright awe was the result…

 

Analysis: “There they go just a’walking down the street; do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do..”  (Manfred Mann)

 

This is what I am aspiring to as I grow older.  I want to be just like John and Peter and the rest of those guys, walking down the street and, “Hullo, what’s this?  Huh, I don’t have any spare change but here is what I do have—take my hand and walk in the Name of Jesus.“

 

It isn’t the Shock and Awe, Sizzle and Flame of seeing a guy jump up where he hasn’t been able to jump before in a long, long, time.  It is the renunciation of cowardness and the embrace of faithfulness to pray right there, right now, as the Spirit nudges, prods on me.

 

What then?  Is it the prospect that I stop ant pray or is it that I stop and pray expecting Mr. Joe to jump out of his wheelchair in Publix singing, shouting, and praising God?

 

Getting my head on straight, If I pray expecting a visible result like Mr. Joe jumping up and he doesn’t; Mr. Joe says “Thank you” for the thought, I can get discouraged and my faith (and faithful courage) goes south—so much so the second time a “Mr. Joe” shows up, I walk on by.

 

Here is what I have control over: My actions.  Who heals?  Not me.  What does God use?  A bonehead like me, repudiating and relinquishing cowardice and fear and trusting Him to do what He pleases.

 

Boneheads are His instruments of mercy; an Instrument in the Redeemer’s Hands.  So I work at stopping and praying, give alms where I can, being fearless instead of fearful—all of this trusting God to perform His will in all things.

 

Prayer: Father God, when I write these journal entries, You use them to convict my heart.  I wrote the above—the above holds me accountable for the words, thoughts, implications, and imperatives You brought on these little electronic bits and bytes.

 

Make me responsive to Your Word, Lord.  Make me responsive to the commentary I write.  Let it be, like in Timothy, that I practice these things, I immerse myself in them, so that my progress may be seen. (1 Tim 4:15) AMEN.

 

Journal Acts 1 (all references are from the ESV; changes in punctuation are mine)

 

Scripture: “All these with one accord were devoting themselves to prayer—together with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers.

 

In those days Peter stood up among the brothers (the company of persons was in all about 120) … Acts 1:14-15

 

Observation:  One accord; devotion to prayer—difficult to beat that formula to change the world.

 

Analysis:  I find “devoting” myself to prayer difficult.

 

I am ok with occasional, short bursts of focus on prayer, or light but longer periods of “intending” to pray.  But an entire church, in one accord, devotion to prayer?  Wow!  Impressive to say the least.

 

Wish I could do that.  Not the church in one accord description; just me, in a single accord, devoting myself to prayer.  Gotta start somewhere…

 

What would devotion to prayer even look like?

 

I think that it would take shape in at least 3 forms:

 

• Formal, public;
• Intentional, private;
• Informal but continuous conversation.

 

The way I would pray in public could (and probably should) be different in how I pray in private or continuous mode.  There are guardrails to consider for public prayer.  One of my guardrails is to not “preach” at someone in public prayer.  If the subject is appropriate to pray for in public, it takes some deft pre-thinking to shape such prayers to be effective prayers to God.  Preparation is the key for impromptu or spontaneous public prayer.

 

Intentional, private prayer has less guardrails, but the focus is on “intentional.”  I have less success with this because it forces me to be disciplined—Greet the morning dawn in worship and prayer?  Bring my supplications to God when the dew is still on the ground?  Awake the night watchmen with my cry to God?  Hardly.  My so-called morning devotion probably stops with, “Thank you Lord for brewed bean juice, piping hot and ready to sip.”  This is where “praying in tongues” works well because only God can translate “Ahhh” as a call to prayer.

 

Informal but continuous conversation is probably what I am most familiar with, but if I try to codify it like the scripture says, “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thes 5:17) my natural man pulls up short and says “that’s impossible” although I really do it all the time—at least closer than the other two.

 

This is a journal entry without “victory” today.  Out of all the spiritual disciplines a disciple should be taking up, prayer is among the ones that stops short in me.

 

By the way: All the readers that have Honda sedans, piling your small group in your car is not what “being in one Accord” means.

 

Prayer:   Father God.  I know that I fail often in prayer.  I am not disciplined, I cannot construct a prayer that doesn’t include “Bless me, Lord, for this and that; give me this and/or that”, etc.

 

Help me to begin to focus on what pleases You, not what pleases me.  Brush the webs from my eyes to see Your Hand and Your Presence everywhere.  Make it spark in me to live according to you Word, that even if my mouth doesn’t say “For the Word of God says…”, my mind thinks that and searches for it all my days.  AMEN

 

Scripture:

[1] The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds;
there is none who does good.

Observation:

Notice that David is pointing something out about those who have closed their heart, not just their head, to believing in God.  These are people with very hardened hearts.
He goes on to point out that these non-believers with hardened hearts do abominable deeds and there is none who does good.  Perhaps one can do some good with an open heart and a mind not yet convinced of our wonderful God, but how can one do good with a confused mind and a heart hardened toward God.

Application:

This is not to say that all non-believers no nothing but bad.  Nor is it to say that believers will always do good.  But David is not just talking about non-believers who need “more evidence”, or “scientific proof”; those who do not accept as proof evidence of the finely tuned universe or many other logical arguments; he is talking about non-believers with very hardened hearts, not just weak minds, who lock God out of their lives.  It is saying though that without Jesus Christ as our compass we are easily led to evil due to our sin nature.

Some of us may be gifted apologists and be able to encourage and change the minds of those who’s minds are not accepting all the evidence for God around us.  That’s great. I wish I was as smart and quick as those gifted apologists.  Most of us though, should focus on changing hearts.  Work on those hardened hearts.  Show the love of Jesus with everyone we come in contact, and even more so to those we know in this condition.  We are called to sow the seeds and Jesus will do the rest.  If we continue to make ourselves available to Him Jesus will us for more than just the sowing, but it will be Him working through us.

Prayer:

Thank You Lord for replacing my heart with a new heart.  Thank You for the joy I get every day from knowing You are always with me.  Lord use me to help change the hearts of those who have hardened hearts toward You.  Put them in my path, help me to act as You will, and give me the words I need when I need them.  In Your Holy name I pray, amen.

Scripture: “May the Lord cut off all flattering lips, the tongue that makes great boasts, those who say, “With our tongue we will prevail, our lips are with us; who is master over us?”  (Ps 12:3-4)

 

“How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?  How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?  Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him”; lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

 

BUT: I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.  I will sing to the Lord because he has dealt bountifully with me.” (Ps 13:2-6)

 

Observation:  Affliction is more than just physical, it can burrow deep into the bones and cause all sorts of havoc in the spirit of man.

 

Analysis:  Read the cry of David out loud and I find that it somehow resonates within my soul.

 

The Holy Spirit identifies it well: He calls it “groaning.”

 

In Job 3:24: “…my groanings are poured out like water.”

Job 23:2 “Today my complaint is bitter; my hand is heavy on account of my groaning.”

Ps 5:1 “Give ear to my words, O Lord; consider my groaning.”

Ps 38:8 “…I groan because of the tumult of my heart.”

 

All of this comes under the category of groaning.  Associated synonyms are: sighing; moaning; complaining; whimpering—all can be considered outward signs of a spirit either or on the way of being crushed.

 

Believers are not immune to this.  I think that believers may be more susceptible to this kind of affliction than most.

 

At Sat Morning Coffee, the book “The Enemy Within” is being reviewed.  One of the things that the writer says is, “Believers are the only people who ever find the law of sin at work in them.  Unbelievers can’t feel it.” (p25) The writer continues about unbelievers, “…they cannot measure the force of the current because they have surrendered themselves to it…” (p25)

 

Is this to say unbelievers are never sensitive to “groanings?”  No, of course not.   However, discernment would expose whether groanings are directed to God or about circumstances.  A fine line, I think, but an important distinction.

 

The point is even believers groan, have sorrow, have thoughts about why enemies are exalted, and I am laid low.  I have these thoughts and groanings.  A lot.

 

There are two thoughts about this: 1) Short term: I would rather not have sorrow; I would rather not groan.  I would rather I be thought well of and promoted.  Doesn’t happen: at least what I remember on the short term are all the ways I come up short.  And then there is 2) Long term: I remember the Gospel.  “Why are you in despair O my soul? Hope again in God for I will indeed praise Him.” (Ps 52) David writes in Ps 13:5-6 “BUT: I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.  I will sing to the Lord because he has dealt bountifully with me.”

 

When things seem to be in the toilet, I remember the Gospel.

 

Prayer:  Lord, how much of my walk in You consists of remembering the Gospel?  The Gospel is more than the reason of the invitation to become a believer.  It is the full measure of sustenance that lasts for my lifetime and into eternity.

 

Help me work through this latest occasion of the bruising of my heart.  I want to lay my heart down afresh at the foot of the Cross and surrender anew.  AMEN.

 

 

Scripture

Genesis 41:16 –Joseph answered Pharaoh, “It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer.”

Observation

Pharaoh has heard from his cupbearer that Joseph can interpret his dream.  When asked by Pharaoh to interpret his dream, Joseph tells Pharaoh that he can’t but God will provide an answer.  Joseph recognizes and lets Pharaoh that God is soverign and Joseph gives all the credit in all things to God.

Application

I must recognize, like Joseph that our God is soverign in all things.  Joseph has been sold by his brothers into slavery, yet he doesn’t question God, he allows God to work in him and through him.  In everything I do, I must seek God’s will to use me.  Whatever I do is not of my own, rather to point to God giving Him the glory.

Prayer

Father,

Thank you for loving me so much that you want to know me.  Let me realize that you are soverign over all things.  Help me submit to you in all aspects of life and use me that my story be for your glory.

Journal Ps 9 (all references are from the ESV; changes in punctuation are mine)

 

Scripture:

 

“I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart;

I will recount all of your  wonderful deeds.

I will be glad and  exult in you;

I will  sing praise to your name, O Most High.” (Ps 9:1-2)

 

Observation: “I will.”  This is a phrase that implies total commitment to a behavior.  In a time where nobody likes to be pinned down, the Bible doesn’t usually participate in “fuzzy” statements…

 

Analysis:  In quality assurance systems where my work experience lies, the phrases: “I will; I shall; I must” aren’t phrases of “intention” (like “if I get around to it) but of “commitment, imperative, vital, essential, or crucial importance.”

 

So, where I see “I will…” genuine consideration should contain “I better think about my commitment to this (or any) statement because I wouldn’t want to fail.”

 

I should really consider the Gospel, especially around the biblical fact concerning my innate weakness in relation to my sin nature.  I can say “I will…” as much as I want, have all the and strongest intention in the world, and still am susceptible to failure.

 

Therefore, indicative or imperative words and/or phrases, those things that are said or implied that backs me in a corner are important to understand in the context of the Gospel and progressive sanctification.

 

Lots of big words (I really think in these kinds of words, honest).   The point I remind myself of daily is “I will…” is a part of learning to be a disciple with the inevitable failure, confession, repentance, and getting up again, and repeat as needed (which in my case is very often).

 

But, if I keep at it, determined to persevere through the applicable trials, maybe I will grow just a little in holiness—just maybe…

 

Prayer:  Lord Jesus, I will (do this and that) in Your Name really means “I surrender to do Your Will.”  That is what I think it means.  AMEN.

 

 

Journal Ps 6-7 (all references are from the ESV; changes in punctuation are mine)

 

Scripture: “O Lord my God.

 

If I have done this; if there is wrong in my hands;

If I have repaid my friend with evil or plundered my enemy without cause;

Let the enemy pursue my soul and overtake it and let him trample my life to the ground and

lay my glory in the dust.”  (Ps 7:3-5)

 

Observation:   How many skip over these verses, thinking they are too dark or not applicable personally?  I submit that it is difficult to dig deep in my own heart to be fiercely transparent before the Lord my God and let Him, the Holy Spirit, to be the convictor of Sin that He is. (John 8:7-14)

 

Analysis:  I don’t know of many folks who have modeled this behavior in my past.

 

How many have I come across modeling “bright, sunshiny, positive, joyful/happy, etc.” behavior?  Many.  And many have been true and without being fake about it.

 

How many have I come across that seem to have this “plastic, somehow untruthful, putting on the dog, the Christian show” sort of demeanor?  Tons.

 

The word I am searching for is “authentic.”

 

What does an authentic Believer look like?  At times, they look like what David looks like in the above reference in Psalms 7.  Other times, they look like Psalms 150.  Point is: authentic Christian behavior looks like from one end to another on the scale represented by the Scriptures.

 

Another point is that if I don’t have these same emotions, this “crying out to God” about my own sin; if I am shoveling those thoughts and feelings and, yes, convictions of wrong-doing, that sin—If I am avoiding those convictions in some sort of “that isn’t how Christians are supposed to act and feel” then I am not either honest with myself or with the God I serve.

 

What I am writing about isn’t advocating being a “whole person”—I am writing sternly to myself that, even though God sees through me every day, I should get a grip with the fact that I need to be FIERCELY transparent to the One who wants me the most to be like his Son. (Ro 8:29)

 

Prayer:  Lord, despair of my own sin doesn’t rise up in me like I think it should these days.  It is as if I am content to coast, feeling a tweak here or there, confessing it, repenting of it, and…be done with it.  Even when I know I repeat that same action over and over in a compressed timeline, it doesn’t affect my heart.

 

David writes in Ps 42: “Why are you in despair, O my soul?  And why are you in turmoil within me?  Hope again in God for I shall again praise Him my salvation…”  Pursuing and surrendering to You, O God, is a monumental task, taking focus to do so every day.  Make me do what is needed that I may be pleasing in Your Sight, O God my salvation.  AMEN