Journal Proverbs 12 (all references are from the ESV; changes in punctuation are mine)
Scripture: “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Prov 12:18
Observation: Words. Tongue. Mouth. Righteousness and unrighteousness. Foolishness and Wisdom.
James had it right: “How can good water and bad water come out of the same place?” James 3:10-12
Analysis: The last few days have numbed my mouth with the taste of my PF Flyers (Nike before Nike ever thought about being). Doesn’t matter: the taste of a shoe in the mouth is the same whatever the shoe.
I would like to think I practice “healing words.” I can fool myself that way; thinking, that is. At times it is a practice of self-deception.
Fact is my mouth is an arsenal of various cutlery: swords and spears all the way to dainty shrimp forks. I am usually ready for battle and to do harm.
I really don’t want to be that way. I want my words to be “apples of gold in settings of silver.” Prov 25:11
But why aren’t they? Why do I have to keep a guard over my mouth? Why should I? Shouldn’t my thoughts and feelings be free to be “out there?” Don’t I have a right to express myself?
I know the answer: No. And Yes. Unfortunately, the “yes right” leads to unrighteousness. And the “no right”, while it is exemplary of being wise, can also cap off pent up anger and bitterness.
What is the solution? The fear of the Lord. Prov 9:10
All right, I rattled off the Sunday School answer but what does that really mean? It means that there is an answer and I need to keep searching for this principle to be driven deeper and deeper inside my heart.
Today, my heart is far from peaceable words. I can attribute that to a wayward and intolerant heart, moving away from the Living God and demanding my own way. If I ever needed to examine where I am, I review the voice in my head that I want to let loose and that tells me exactly where I am—most times not paying attention to the Spirit and going “ya, ya, nah, nah, I don’t hear You…” in the empty space between my ears.
Today, I am crushed. Not of anything that is so soul crushing everyone would understand but of those “things” that an outsider would go, “Whaaaat?”
I need to confess before the Throne and empty my heart. Problem is I am embracing the perceived hurt too much.
Prayer: Lord God, how I wish I wasn’t so stubborn. There is a disconnect between my head and my mouth that I cannot seem to overcome today (or yesterday as well—hopefully not tomorrow). Be my Hope once again, O God. Be my Lord, my Savior, my Rabbi and all those things. Help me be like You. AMEN.